Rediscovering the Wild Soul
Originally posted 2021 on Soul Quest Podcast
Preface
Hello there. I want to share my journey and outline my steps to my enlightenment. I call it that instead of recovery because this is a creative journey. Not a punishment. A way to live that is just as fun and exciting as getting wasted was at first. Take a trip with me.
So, you brandish yourself as some drink, fight, and fuck, blood drinking, witchcraft practicing, vampire. You now have that experience in your pocket. Now we cleanse ourselves for our new phase in life. Follow these steps and become immortal.
Ok, we all know why we’re here, let’s just address it so we can get to the interesting part. Alcohol in excess poisons the body. Plain and simple.
The Detox
This part isn’t fun either but is a vital part of the healing process. This makes or breaks you. If you have the luxury of a taper down, then you’re in fairly good shape. Keep trying till you succeed. Others get one shot. That means live or die. I can only describe this stage as a guided tour thru every torture chamber in hell by satan himself. At this point one’s true sanity really comes into play. Trust yourself. I mean REALLY TRUST YOURSELF!! You are your best and only friend right now. You control your own destiny. Let’s dig up that mysterious, curious, enthusiastic soul that got you in this mess in the first place.
So, with that pleasant description of what to expect. Let’s move on.
The morning you decide no more alcohol will be just like any other morning. Slight hangover. Or still buzzed from the night before. The pains won’t start till later that day when you would normally start the drinking cycle. This is a dangerous stage in reclaiming your body. People die at this stage. Just know the more work you put in the easier it will become. We will work on your soul later.
First, expect to be out of commission for a while. Take a sick leave from work. Hell, quit your job. Whatever needs to happen. Tell your loved ones to wish you luck and you will see them when you’re back. This is a perfect scenario, but you get the picture.
Let’s Go!!!! The mind starts racing, blood pressure rising, hellish thoughts of closing in walls, no equilibrium. Feet sinking into the floor as you walk back and forth to the restroom. What will make this stop!! Bang my head, scream, punch, scratch, kick, gag, puke, shit…nothing satisfies.
Hold down any water you can. Eat crackers or bread. You are indeed very sick. Sicker than you’ve ever been in your life. Have compassion for yourself. Know that this feeling will pass. Rest your body. Just sleep.
Recover
Hopefully, you made it thru the night. Now let’s recover. This may come in a day or a week. I can describe this feeling as being in a car wreck, bad fist fight, or gnarly skateboard slam. Everyone’s body heals at a different rate. So, let’s drink water!!! Ahh, your new best friend!!! This part is kind of fun.
Let’s set up our healing station. We need essentials. Notepad with pens and pencils. TV Remote, a gallon of water, favorite blankie, comfy gear. And, of course, cell phone. The cell phone was an iffy one for me.
I chose to check out of society for a bit. To each their own on that one.
So, let’s sleep. As much as your body will allow you too. Deep breathing is great. Let’s think of happy things…kids, mates, skateboarding.. a sexual encounter..family. Zero stress. Ahhhhhh
Wow. I bet you feel better. However long it took for you.
It took almost a year for me. Let start with some lists.
Goals , ideas, habits, hobbies, projects. Brainstorm. Now that we’re not fucked u, WE CAN DO ANYTHING!!!
Some things on my list are skate more, drink tea, LOVE in all forms, yoga, morning walks, meditation, create in all forms, eat veggies, family time, biz ventures. My mate introduced me to a habit tracker. This is an especially useful tool!!
Now, if you were creative and fun while drinking, you should be yourself on steroids right now!
Ideas should be flowing…synapses should be springy…senses are acute…taste buds are back, you can smell everything…feel everything…attractions intense!
Let’s go with it.
Merging New with Former
Let everything around you know you are back. And dangerously effective.
Your body and mind are becoming one again. Thanking each other. Your body let your mind know getting wasted is no longer fun. Your mind answered. Here is where we restore our harmony.
So, let’s see where we rejoin our former life. You may notice that some of the people you surrounded yourself with are not so fun. This was a war. A bloody violent one. There will be casualties. No offense, but we must 86 some folks. I surrounded myself with mostly all good people. So, my casualties were minimal. Basically, if we enjoyed each other for something positive besides drinking, we’re still together.
Ok, now the struggle. Here is where my personal story might give you some ideas.
I always associated fun with booze.
I mean anything fun:
· Skateboarding plus beers
· Dancing plus beers
· Projects plus beers
· Camping, surfing, bike ride, pretty much every activity.
Then there became less of the activity and just the drinking. No self-loathing here. Just the plain truth. So how to do it? Hmmm. This is where we need to find our Wild Soul. The one where everything was new and fun. Exciting and exhilarating. Sexy and adventurous.
Let’s awaken this sleeping sedated soul.
The way I think of it is being born again. When you were a kid, you never wanted to stop playing. Morning to night. There was not enough time in the day to fit in all the games. Just dinner and your parents telling you it’s time to come home. No booze necessary.
By now people will be noticing a big change in you.
⁃ You look 10 or more years younger.
⁃ You smell better.
⁃ Your fashion sense is more on point.
⁃ You are pleasant to be around.
⁃ You are energetic.
⁃ You have many more ideas.
⁃ You actually give a shit.
Now let’s enjoy our newfound awareness.
I am fortunate to live in nature right now. When I walk in our woods, I hear things I used to not. I see tiny creatures out of the corners of my eyes. And focus on them with pinpoint accuracy. Colors appear vibrant and intense. A stick falls in the distance. I hear it and see it before it hits the ground. I see cool hangouts everywhere.
Under the canopy of trees that make an umbrella …
I can live out here.
Like a wild animal.
THIS is my trip.
By: Erik Mabbun
Find Erik on IG @Mabbun54 @stealthmicrocampers